Sling it Again, Sam

Recovering from getting a pacemaker is pretty easy compared to recovering from open-heart surgery.

I was back at work 4 days later. (Although I wouldn't have minded having another 7 weeks off, don'tcha know.) I'm obviously not in as much pain as I was after open-heart surgery. And thank God for that! I am under some of the same restrictions - I couldn't drive for a while, I can't lift more than 5 pounds for another week and a half, I can't raise my left arm above my shoulder for another week and a half. Okay, that last one isn't the same, but after open-heart surgery I didn't WANT to raise my arms above my shoulders for quite a while.

Sleeping was and is difficult. It took me quite a while to be able to sleep well after open-heart surgery. I don't think it will take me as long this time, but I still can't sleep on my left side or my stomach. The main reason being that stupid arm lifting restriction.

I move around quite a bit when I sleep. This is why RobbieMax and I have separate blankets. Well, that and the fact that I am a cover hog. Hey: Could being a cover hog have something to do with the pig valve? Hmmm...maybe now I can use the pig valve as an excuse for my cover hogginess...

So my shoulder is feeling better enough that I could almost sleep normally. Which pretty much means that my left arm would wind up over my head at some point. And this is a major no-no. Something like that could lead to popping a lead.

So how have I been preventing this potential problem, you ask?

I've been sleeping with that dang sling on my arm, that's how. It's always difficult getting that thing on my arm with one hand right before I go to sleep. And I'm very particular. I can't have anything bunching under me, I have to be completely covered. (Yeah, I know. My particulars are strange.) This is difficult, especially when I'm laying on my right side and can't use my left arm to make sure the covers are over me. (Doesn't everyone do that?) And I can feel the draft when they're not. Believe me.

So anyway, last night I woke up and my arm was almost out of the sling, and on its way to being over my head. I'm not sure what would have happened if I hadn't woken up at that point. Probably would have popped a lead, had to go back to Mayo, and get cut open again.

Since I'm not planning on going back to Mayo anytime in the near future (my next appointment is on 3/21), I have to figure out something else to do aside from, or along with, my sling.

I have the long wrapping bandages that I used to wrap my foot in when I sprained it last May. I've been thinking about using that and basically wrapping my arm to my body and immobilizing it. Don't worry - I've washed them since then.

Or I could superglue my arm to my side, but pulling it apart would really hurt. Or I could sew the sleeve of my pj's to the side of my pj's, but then I'd have to un-sew them again. Or I could not put my arm in my sleeve and just leave it by my side inside my pj's, but that doesn't sound too comfy. Or I could have RobbieMax buy some plaster strips and make a full body cast that I could wear in place of pj's, which would render me pretty immobile.

Hmmm...as appealing as all of those sound, I think that I'll stick with the sling for now. And if that doesn't work, we'll try the plaster cast.

Check Out My New Profile

Wasn't I cute as a baby?

I added some fun stuff (at least I think it's fun), and the new photo. What does an orangutan have to do with me, you ask? You're right, I don't have a monkey valve. And there's no monkey swinging around in my chest for a pacemaker.

The picture makes me laugh/giggle every time I see it. And I like to think that I make the few people who read my blog laugh. And if my awesome sense of humor and fun personality don't make you laugh, then maybe looking at the little monkey will.

Screwy logic, I know. But there it is. PLUS - aside from my kitties, monkeys are my favorite animal. They're funny and cute. (RobbieMax has informed me that orangutans are not monkeys, they are apes. But I like the word monkey better, so I'm sticking with it.)

Well, I gotta go listen to the next train wreck on American Idol. I'll write more soon!

Pink Floyd Didn't Come to Mind

So it's Saturday and we have the Seahawks/Packers game on. The Seahawks have scored twice in the first 4 minutes of the game on two turnovers. In the words (or word, in this case) of Napoleon Dynamite, "YESSSS!"

Now I am not a Seahawks fan. But I am when they play the Packers. Actually, I'm a fan of any team that plays the Packers. Remember, I live in Minnesota. And this makes me one of the most pathetic beings on the planet: a Vikings fan. I know that we suck (most of the time), but that doesn't mean I want the Packers to win.
But don't get me wrong. I don't really watch football myself. I "watch" it vicariously through the hubby. Now he IS a rabid football fan. I am what one refers to as a "football widow."

I just get the TV after this game is over, so I thought I'd write in my blog until then. (Let's hope it doesn't take me THAT long to type! Actually, I can type with both hands now.)

My friend Thor told me that I sound angry about the pacemaker when I type in my blog about it. Um, I don't know that I'm angry or that the tone of my blog is angry. We'll just call it sarcasm laced with frustrated inevitability. It's no secret that I didn't want the dang thing. But it's in my shoulder and I'm resigned to it.

Wow. That did sound kind of angry, didn't it?

Well, I promised details about the surgery, and I'm not going to disappoint. Well, I should say that I promised details about WHAT I REMEMBER about the surgery.

So I was supposed to be at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester at 5:30 Friday morning. This meant that RobbieMax and I left the house at 4. It was NOT a fun morning.

Anyway, we made it on time, and I checked in and was in my room by 6:00. I was really nervous and anxious because I knew that they would not be knocking me out for this. (Which, let's face it, was better than being under general anesthesia and waking up on a ventilator.) I knew that I would be getting an IV and that I would be getting something to help me relax.

Three hours later I was finally wheeled into the prep room. THREE HOURS. It turns out that I was 2nd in line. So why did I need to come so dang early?

So in the prep room, they put that numbing cream on to help with the insertion of the IV. And I had a TV, so I watched some of the show Cash Cab on the Discovery Channel. If you've never seen it, you should watch it. It's game show with a cab driver in New York City as the host. People get into the cab, and they get to answer questions to win cash during the cab ride to their destination. It's fun!

Now where was I?

Oh yeah - the prep room. So the nurse came to insert the IV, and I had another nurse holding my other hand. The IV insertion went okay. I could still feel it, and it hurt.

Then they wheeled me into the Cath Lab, and this is where the pacemaker was implanted. I'm scooched over to the other table, and they got me situated. They put a drape up at the neck level so I couldn't see what was going on. (As if I would want to.) The anesthesiologist then injected a nice "cocktail" of Versed and Fentanyl into my IV. In no time I was floating in my own little world. And amazingly, I did not start singing anything by Pink Floyd. In fact, I didn't sing at all.

One good thing is that I got to listen to my iPod during the entire procedure. This was cool. Not only could I not see what was happening, I could not hear what was happening. (Well, almost - they made me have it at a level where I could still hear them ask me questions.)

I barely felt or cared about the series of Lidocaine shots that they gave me to numb me up. (Hooray for drug cocktails!) And then I just floated in and out of consciousness for the rest of the procedure. I did feel them making the pocket in which to place the pacemaker. Lots of tugging and stuff. And every once in a while, I'd ask, "Is it in yet?" just to keep them on their toes.

But that was it. It wasn't too bad. It's not like it was open-heart surgery or anything.

And now I'm just under restrictions for another three weeks. But I can drive on Tuesday, so I'm looking forward to that. RobbieMax earned the hubby of the year award this week for driving me to and from the park and ride so I could take the bus to work, and he even did my hair! Yep. The best hubby around. And he's mine!

My incision is still sore and bruised. And I can definitely feel the pacemaker when I touch it. That's weird. And I now have a whopping 10 scars on my chest. I feel so sexy.

So now I just have to be careful that I don't pop a lead over the next three weeks. Even though it was easier than open-heart surgery, it doesn't mean I want to go through that again anytime soon.

Pacemaker. Check.

So I got it. It's done. I now have a titanium Guidant pacemaker installed in my left shoulder. (It's better than a hamster on a wheel, right?)

Sorry that I haven't written until now, but it's been painful, and I'm sick of typing one-handed. So this will be short and sweet. Or bitter, maybe.

I'll spare you the details of the surgery/procedure, for now. It'll take too long to type it. Maybe next time.

It wasn't fun, but it wasn't as bad as I had expected. So that's good, I guess. My left shoulder hurts, and I can't tell if when I touch it I feel the pacemaker, or the swelling. Maybe it's both. Either way, it grosses me out. The area surrounding the incision (the "pocket" they created in which to place the pacemaker) is very colorful. I didn't know that my skin could bruise the colors of the rainbow so brilliantly.

Hey - please wish me luck with wearing a bra tomorrow. Shoulder incision + bra strap = OUCH!

I'm under restrictions - I wasn't allowed to shower/get the incision wet until today, so I worked from home. (Since I haven't showered since 3:30 Friday morning, I'm guessing that my colleagues are thanking me for this courtesy.) I'm waiting to shower until RobbieMax comes home, in case I need help. (Smart thinking, huh?) And how does one wash their semi-long hair one-handed?

I can't drive for 10 days (well, 8 days now), I can't lift my left arm up past my shoulder and I can't lift anything more than 5 pounds for 4 weeks. The healing scar tissue needs to heal the leads in place. Sounds nice, huh?

Well, it's taken me almost an hour to just type this little bit, and the fingers on my right hand are numb.

I'm just waiting to take my shower. The next time I post later on this week, I'll tell the story of my pacemaker implantation, and smell much better.

And the Pacemaker Wins by a Heartbeat!

Or should I say, LACK of a heartbeat?

Yep. My worst fears at the moment came true. I'm getting a pacemaker. Not only am I getting a pacemaker, but I'm getting the pacemaker implanted on Friday. THIS Friday. I need to be at St. Mary's Hospital at 5:30 am. Fun.

So I have what is called Tachy/Brady Syndrome (forgive the horrible spelling), and I'm not quite sure I know what it is. Something about my heart going into tachycardia (a superfast rhythm) and moving to bradychardia (a superslow rhythm) when my heart hits that 150 bpm range. And also something called Sinus Node Exit Block. I don't know quite what that is, either. I feel so informed!
It's not that they didn't explain it, I just didn't quite understand it. Something about the "sparks" my sinus node sends out that aren't received by the av node.

Back in the day, my great grandfather got a pacemaker. Of course back then instead of a little titanium unit, they implanted a hamster on a wheel. I guess I should be happy that technology has advanced.

So, I get to go back to the hospital only 18 months after my PVR. The PVR that was supposed to improve my quality of life. And now I get to have yet more surgery. To improve my quality of life.

You know, it's funny. I was wondering what the heck I was going to write about in my blog now since I was doing so well. I plan to lose 40 pounds this year. So I was thinking about writing about that. Kind of like Bridget Jones, but without the profanity or the humor. (Well, my blog is A LITTLE funny, right? I could swear more, if that'll help.)

But wonder of wonders, I'm having heart problems again. Yippee. And I get to have a pacemaker implanted. Did I say it was happening on Friday?

So I'm going to get what is called a rate-adaptive dual chamber pacemaker, which means that there will be two leads (wires) implanted - one in my right atrium, and one in my right ventricle. And this pacemaker will not be required to work all the time, just when I'm exercising. It will sense the "sparks" sent off by the sinus node and will fill in for the av node when needed. It will adapt.

Obviously with having a pacemaker comes lifestyle changes. My dreams of becoming a paranormal investigator (think "Ghost Hunters" on SciFi) are dashed. I won't be able to operate the electromagnetic field detector. Dangit. And my back-up plan as an arc welder won't work. I was really hoping to be able to weld arcs. (I think that's what they do.) And I've always wanted to have an MRI. But alas, that cannot be. And I won't be able to put my cell phone in my left breast pocket in my shirts. Because all women love to have one cell phone-shaped breast.

So even though the surgery/procedure is done with local anesthetic, I think I communicated my fears of it well enough. Apparently Dr. Lloyd (my Electro Physiologist) ordered lots of good drugs for me. So I will be well sedated. Let's hope. And I can bring my iPod. I hope that I can listen to it during the "procedure."

RobbieMax, of course, is coming with. And he'll sleep on a cot in my hospital room on Friday night. (Isn't he sweet?) Will is going to stay with my parents.

So. I am getting a pacemaker. On Friday. Lucky me.