And the Pacemaker Wins by a Heartbeat!

Or should I say, LACK of a heartbeat?

Yep. My worst fears at the moment came true. I'm getting a pacemaker. Not only am I getting a pacemaker, but I'm getting the pacemaker implanted on Friday. THIS Friday. I need to be at St. Mary's Hospital at 5:30 am. Fun.

So I have what is called Tachy/Brady Syndrome (forgive the horrible spelling), and I'm not quite sure I know what it is. Something about my heart going into tachycardia (a superfast rhythm) and moving to bradychardia (a superslow rhythm) when my heart hits that 150 bpm range. And also something called Sinus Node Exit Block. I don't know quite what that is, either. I feel so informed!
It's not that they didn't explain it, I just didn't quite understand it. Something about the "sparks" my sinus node sends out that aren't received by the av node.

Back in the day, my great grandfather got a pacemaker. Of course back then instead of a little titanium unit, they implanted a hamster on a wheel. I guess I should be happy that technology has advanced.

So, I get to go back to the hospital only 18 months after my PVR. The PVR that was supposed to improve my quality of life. And now I get to have yet more surgery. To improve my quality of life.

You know, it's funny. I was wondering what the heck I was going to write about in my blog now since I was doing so well. I plan to lose 40 pounds this year. So I was thinking about writing about that. Kind of like Bridget Jones, but without the profanity or the humor. (Well, my blog is A LITTLE funny, right? I could swear more, if that'll help.)

But wonder of wonders, I'm having heart problems again. Yippee. And I get to have a pacemaker implanted. Did I say it was happening on Friday?

So I'm going to get what is called a rate-adaptive dual chamber pacemaker, which means that there will be two leads (wires) implanted - one in my right atrium, and one in my right ventricle. And this pacemaker will not be required to work all the time, just when I'm exercising. It will sense the "sparks" sent off by the sinus node and will fill in for the av node when needed. It will adapt.

Obviously with having a pacemaker comes lifestyle changes. My dreams of becoming a paranormal investigator (think "Ghost Hunters" on SciFi) are dashed. I won't be able to operate the electromagnetic field detector. Dangit. And my back-up plan as an arc welder won't work. I was really hoping to be able to weld arcs. (I think that's what they do.) And I've always wanted to have an MRI. But alas, that cannot be. And I won't be able to put my cell phone in my left breast pocket in my shirts. Because all women love to have one cell phone-shaped breast.

So even though the surgery/procedure is done with local anesthetic, I think I communicated my fears of it well enough. Apparently Dr. Lloyd (my Electro Physiologist) ordered lots of good drugs for me. So I will be well sedated. Let's hope. And I can bring my iPod. I hope that I can listen to it during the "procedure."

RobbieMax, of course, is coming with. And he'll sleep on a cot in my hospital room on Friday night. (Isn't he sweet?) Will is going to stay with my parents.

So. I am getting a pacemaker. On Friday. Lucky me.